Strange. Potty training is a given when raising a child. But I don’t want to do it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like being required to change diapers but potty training scares the life out of me. So I’m bad parenting and hoping that her school will set it off for me.
I know, I know, I shouldn’t tell anyone that. Still, I can’t help but hope if I say it )or write it) out loud my spirit will laugh at its absurdity and get over this foolishness. However, I must confess I still have anxiety about it. Maybe this thing takes longer to kick in.
What scares me about it? I don’t know? Is it my visions of urine splattered tiles or the nightmares of my nostrils detecting poop I can’t seem to locate? Nope. I think the times when my daughter awakens in her crib and I find her but-naked has zapped those. We’ve changed poop and pee sheets because she decided to remove her own pamper, although I can’t blame her. She’s probably thinking, “This damn broad isn’t going to figure out I’m ready for the potty on her own. Let me help her.”
So what is it? Honestly, I think it’s the effort and the cost of diapers. That’s bad, isn’t it? Oh I know it’s bad. But I have a friend who told me to put her on the potty every half an hour until she goes. What? Who has that kind of time? How many diapers does that take? it’s weird putting the same diaper back on even if it is dry. I tried sitting her on one of them potty seats that go on the big people toilet. I thought I was doing the whole sit there until you go. But then the girl is like, “Mama?” And she’s got her hands lifted like take me off of here, please. And it’s so pleasant and sweet. And you gotta know that I adore when she’s sweet. And then she’s shaking her head, “No,” when I try to keep her on the toilet and so I cave. Like really cave. Like I don’t last a whole five minutes. More like two and a half and that’s with me trying to count seconds.
I overheard someone saying they sat their child on a potty in front of the television and gave them some Twizzlers. They were trained within a week. Other than the fact that my 23-month-old doesn’t sit still for even her favorite television shows, I’ve never given her candy. Is it bad that I’m not considering. I mean I do love Twizzlers.