Today I was asked a series of questions regarding my marriage and my pregnancy for my upcoming baby shower. One of those questions was, “Which of my husband’s characteristics do I hope my unborn child inherits,” or something like that. There were some answers that flew off the top of my head and some that my aunt, uncle and sister thought would be obvious. We settled on an answer (don’t want to give it away for those attending).

However, once I got off the phone I continued to think about the question. Was there just one thing I hope my baby girl will get from her father? Of course not! Right? I mean I married the guy. Isn’t there more than one admirable trait? So I considered all the things I love about him. What did I love the most? Once I thought about it (and it wasn’t a nasty answer), I called and changed the answer. Then my brain wouldn’t let it go. After ten more minutes, it seemed so easy to send a text with all new choices to the question. To tell you the truth it was sigh of relief. I wasn’t having a child with someone whom I didn’t want my child to be like. Still it seems that too many people make that same mistake.

I hear people bad talk their child’s other parent on a regular basis. They twist their face and when their child does something emulating that parent they’re chastised as being just like them. Or how about the parents who have children with uneducated, uninterested, lazy folks? It’s too hard to determine if your child will have all of your traits (which might be bad decision-making) or if they’ll pick up the less favorable traits of their other parent (although bad decision-making is pretty opposite from favorable).

So who am I having a kid with? Thankfully, with someone who has a host of traits I hope my daughter will pick up on. Some of those traits I hope will replace some of my many faults. The more I write the more I realize I’ve been taken his traits for granted. Why else did I not know them off the top of my head?

Point is, I’m glad I made a good choice with whom I married. However, I see how easily people can forget to ask themselves about these traits before sleeping with someone better yet having a child with them. If you ever did a review of my exes you’d know I dodged a machine gun of bullets. I might not have had to deal with most of them had someone told me to apply baby shower questions to my relationship. Go figure! So if you’re still trying to doge bullets, let me be the first to advise you to find a baby shower questionnaire and apply the questions to yourself and the person you’re considering sharing your bed, or floor, or backseat with.

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